Letter to Momma

Momma, 7 years ago there was a moment which you saved my life and you didn’t even know it. It was a few months after we had lost the most important woman in our family. I was severely depressed, battling with alcoholism, and was feeling like my life wasn’t very important and my presence here on this earth didn’t matter. I felt I was going down a dark path of destruction and pain that I couldn’t get out of and felt that the easiest way to remove the pain was to remove myself. That is until you called my phone. It wasn’t like a magical moment where you were calling me to talk me out of it, it was just a typical phone call from you that I typically get, but this time it was different. As I’m upset and feeling defeated, I answered the phone.

“Hello.”

“What are you doing?” momma asks.

“Nothing, just sitting in my car, what are you up to?” I reply.

“Oh nothing just about to make some dinner, but I just wanted to call to tell you that I love you. I know things have been really tough lately with the passing of mom, but as your Marni would say, we have to ‘pull it together’.”

In that moment I realized something that I had never realized before. No matter what the circumstances are, or how hard the road may seem, the power of a mothers love heals the pain you’re going through. Even it’s just hearing the simple words of “I love you”. It means so much and I’m so thankful in knowing that I’ve been blessed with an amazing support system in a momma like you. I promised myself every day going forward that whatever I achieved, I owed it to you because if it wasn’t for you believing in me when no else did, I don’t know what the outcome would’ve been.

Over my whole life you’ve been the epitome of what it means to be tough. I witness you take life’s darkest moments and never made an excuse once on why it was too difficult to overcome. Instead, you would accept the adversity head on and dominate it. Most importantly, you set the example by making sure that no matter the circumstances, you were the protector and believer in my life and always knew how to make things all better.

Because of that phone call, it changed my perception on what my life is dedicated to. It’s about repaying the woman who has always strived to make sure that the happiness of her children came before her own.  To make sure that every single day I never forget that even when I don’t believe in myself that I have a woman who will always stand in my corner and believe in me. Fellas, I don’t care you are, or how tough you think you are, the power of a mother’s love for you will always conquer whatever this life throws at you. I know its cliché to say, but  appreciate the amazing woman that you call momma. Because you only have one, and they will always make sure that you feel as though that you have a purpose and a belonging in this life.

Happy Mother’s Day momma! I love you.

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