Fatherhood

Legs stiffening up, heart pounding, and the feeling that this moment is about to change your life forever. Mind you I’m a guy who lacks fear for most things in life, but this moment I was terrified for. A serious of doubt questions begin to run through your head to the point that you don’t even know if you’re ready for this moment. Here are just a few that run through your mind:

  • Will I live to the expectation of being a great dad?
  • What about the first time she cries and I can’t figure out what to do?
  • Will I provide her with the right life morals and principles she will grow up with to be a respectable young lady?

Though these are just a few questions, there were a million that I was trying to process through my head; until I saw her for the very first time. All of the fears and doubts I had bottled up prior to this moment all went away. There wasn’t anything I felt except unconditional love for this tiny human I was holding in my arms. Out of all of the major life events that have happened, this by far took the crown as one of the happiest days of my life.

Since that moment, life with you has been nothing less than amazing. Of course as a parent I’ve had stressful and frustrating days, but the happiness and joy that I see on my daughters face every day trumps anything negative that seems to come in to my life. You are the thing that holds my life together and reminds me why I continue to fight and drive towards providing you with a life where you will never have to want or need for anything.

The day you were born, I made a few promises to you that I will never fall short on. I promised that I will always be your protector. Like how I always tell you, “No matter what, daddy isn’t going anywhere. If you need me, I’m right here.” When you cry, I’ll be here to wipe your tears away. Your very first heartbreak, I will be there for you to brighten your spirits up. When you need a shoulder to cry on, I’ll always have one provided for you. No matter what attempt this life will do to harm you, I hope you know that I’m here alongside of you to take it on together.

I’ll promise to be the best version of what a dad can be. One day, I will make sure that you understand where I’ve come from and why I value being a dad to you in our relationship so much. No matter the situation, just know that you will always come first. If you need someone to talk to just know I’m here. No matter how severe or devastating, always know that I will approach our conversations with an open mind. I will always respond to you with honesty and out of love, never with the intention to tear you down even more. I want our relationship/bond to be one where you are able to trust that you can tell me anything and know that I have your back through whatever storms come your way. Through teaching you, I want you to be strong enough to learn from your own mistakes and reflect from my advice and your own self-reflection to build yourself in to a strong independent woman.

Finally, I’ll always promise to set the standard of what it looks like to be a respectable person. I don’t want to convince you of that by repeatedly telling you. Rather, I’ll show you what it looks like by setting the example with my actions in hopes that you admire and pursue life in the same way. I know you’re going to go through phases where you fall off the track, mess up, feeling like a total ruin. But just know that I will be there to let you know that I didn’t just fall off the track a few times, I fell hard from a cliff and hit rock bottom, and if I can bounce back and be that person, so can you.

Though I know you will grow in to a beautiful, intelligent, and driven young lady who will live her own life one day, just know that I’ll always see you as that little angel who stole my heart the very first time I saw you and held you close to me.

I love you Sugar Bear.

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